Marcel Lucont’s Whine List: A Review by Monique Grbec

Man starting into the camera

17 April, 2018 in Reviews

Alexis Dubus’ Marcel Lucont’s Whine List at Coopers Malthouse invites us into a French pub with a big screen montage of his alter ego Lucont, wearing a navy blue velvet suit and a polar neck jumper, striking aristocratic poses in rough and inelegant places. As he enters the stage in the same outfit, his piercing blue eyes are striking, as are his bare feet. Has any French person ever gone without shoes in public?

Ankles up, Dubus’ Lucont  – with his pouts, tossed head, gesticulating hands and deep, smooth and alluring accent – exudes Parisian arrogance, pretension and the French raison d’être of measured intellectual performance. A charismatic raconteur, the character is also Anglophobic, delighting his international audience with an unapologetic travel documentary of British beachside holiday destinations, where the locals favour ‘avant garde dentistry’ and bingo.

The endearing playfulness of Lucont’s favourite topic, sex, is at its most amusing when he’s singing or reciting poetry. From his songbook, men are instructed never to, ‘end on her face,’ and to refrain from current trends and keep your body hair because it, ‘puts the rug into rugged and hair into heroic’. Lucont’s deeply sincere recitation of his ode No Hard Feeling, drawn from his book of poetry, enhances the tragedy of erectile dysfunction.

Where this show lacked a little je ne sais quoi was the Whine List audience. Offered ‘Marcel Lucont’s Whine List questionnaire while queuing for the show, when time came for Lucont’s critique, several contributors were unwilling to step up.  Alas, momentum puttered like a Citroen ready for scrap. Even when one hero, a masculine young man, finally admitted to naming ‘Julie’, his worst amorous encounter, the embarrassment of explicating more details was palpable.

I’m not really sure how funny it was when he eventually admitted, with downcast eyes, that his problem had been with how many fingers she tried to stick up his butt… That said, Lucont’s segue into a ‘wild’ song about the mating habits of insects and animals was hilarious. Who knew a worm had dagger-like dicks?

As a finale, and somewhat redemption, Lucont treated us with Vintage Whine, a ‘best of’ audience responses from his previous shows, including worst days at work (walked in on their boss masturbating), worst amorous encounters (going home with a woman only to realise she was your mate’s mum) and worst overseas experience. The latter elicited one woman from our audience to recall a four-day bender in Ibiza for her friend’s fortieth, full of cocaine snorting, that finally won her Lucont’s 2018 calendar 12 Chaises of Grey.

Presented with Lucont aplomb, this monochromatic feast in which he luxuriates on a variety of chaise longues, ‘Improves even the shittest of walls’.  It truly is a feast for the eyes, so get your own copy here.

Melbourne Internaltional Comedy Festival at The Coopers Malthouse
Marcel Lucont’s Whine List by Alexis Dubus
10 Apr – 22 Apr 2018
malthousetheatre.com.au/whats-on/marcel-luconts-whine-list

#BLAKCRITICSInResidence #Monique Grbec

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